I gave up many things to become a priest.
A good (financially assured) career in something I was good at. A house in a location that was my soul home. A musical network in which I felt true belonging. The biggest heartache.. being with my kids..
By all the usual measures I am worse off than when I began this path.
But sometimes things come back.
One of the joys of the last few months has been rediscovering music again. Music was my first language, my first love, and for a long time, the beauty that kept me breathing.
It’s not the same. I am no longer well polished or even practiced. Sometimes I wonder if I have wasted the many skills I developed.
But I also don’t feel the immense amount of performance pressure I once experienced.
Music is a joy again. It is magic, divine, transcendent once more.
So I take small (messy) but life-giving sips from her cup, and how I savour them.
They lighten my eyes. They are balm to my hurting heart.
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Acts 13.26-33 witnesses to resurrection
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